Coppell Chronicle Vol. 6, No. 13
Cowgirl Wins State Title in Shot Put • Voting Opens Monday in Primary Runoffs • Apartment Complex Evicts Flood District Board • New Policies in Place at Coppell Cemetery
The world’s dumbest tech bro found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time last week, when he tried to sell me an “AI Double” of myself. This is an excerpt from his sales pitch that made my blood pressure skyrocket:
Here’s the simple idea:
1. You clone your voice.
2. You add your knowledge, links, content, and basic rules.
3. Your Double learns how to represent you and what to say.
4. Your audience can talk to your Double when you are busy.
Seven minutes after his godforsaken email landed in my inbox, he had my answer:
“You could not have found a less likely client for your product. Everything about your ‘simple idea’ offends and horrifies me.”
My response included one more sentence that’s not appropriate for a family-friendly newsletter.
Cowgirl Wins State Title in Shot Put
Coppell High School senior Ainsley Bramer won a gold medal in shot put at the UIL Track & Field State Championships on Saturday.
Bramer heaved the shot 45 feet and 0.75 inches on the fifth of her six attempts. That was 7.25 inches better than the best attempt by silver medalist Zoey Deal of Garland Naaman Forest. The bronze medal went to Madison Gonzales of Midland Legacy, whose longest heave of 43 feet and 5.5 inches was a foot shorter than Deal’s.
“We took care of some business down in Austin today! No better way to finish my high school career,” Bramer said in an Instagram post that includes footage of one of her throws. “Definitely not the numbers I wanted, but a win is a win, and there is a lot of work to do before nationals.”
Bramer, who signed with the University of Texas in November, finished in fourth place at last year’s state meet. Her gold medal on Saturday was the first for a Coppell athlete at the state meet since 2023, when Sky Schuller won the championship in girls pole vault. Schuller’s siblings, senior Noah Schuller and junior Mia Schuller, also represented Coppell on Saturday. Each of them earned a trip to state by winning a regional title in pole vault, but they both finished in seventh place in Austin.
On the track, Coppell’s 4x100 relay team of senior Ella Corry, sophomore Janiah Merritt, junior Hannah Polito, and senior Sophia Williams finished in fourth place on Saturday, but their time of 45.61 seconds was a school record. The medalists were Lancaster (43.99), Duncanville (45.11), and Alvin Shadow Creek (45.34).
Williams, who committed to Baylor University last month, also competed in two individual races on Saturday. She finished in sixth place in the 100 meters — when the medalists were again from Lancaster, Duncanville, and Shadow Creek — and she was fifth in the 200 meters, which was led by runners from Duncanville, Shadow Creek, and Katy Morgan Ranch.
In other sports news …
• Ryan Agarwal, who graduated from Coppell High School in 2022, spent the past four years on the Stanford basketball roster. Despite earning his degree, he has one year of eligibility left, so he recently signed to join the team at Loyola University in Chicago. The Ramblers play in the Atlantic 10 Conference.
• Julianna LaMendola, who graduated from Coppell High School in 2023, spent two years on the Indiana basketball roster before playing for Grand Canyon University last season. She recently decided to transfer to Miami University in Ohio. The Redhawks play in the Mid-American Conference.
• I’m trying to compile a list of Coppell High School graduates who will compete in the NCAA baseball tournaments. If you know of any, sound off in the comments.
Voting Opens Monday in Primary Runoffs
Can you believe it’s time for another election? Because the powers that be in Texas haven’t embraced the concept of instant runoffs, the state’s voters are being beckoned back to the polls to settle a few party primaries.
Republicans have three statewide contests to decide:
U.S. Senator: John Cornyn or Ken Paxton
Attorney General: Mayes Middleton or Chip Roy
Land Commissioner: Bo French or Jim Wright
Paxton has been Texas’ Attorney General since January of 2015. Just about a year ago, I wrote about the dismissal of his lawsuit against Coppell ISD over critical race theory, with both sides claiming victory. (See “Paxton’s Suit Against CISD Goes Away” in Vol. 5, No. 12.) That article ended with this statement: “I look forward to calculating how much support Paxton receives from Coppell ISD voters.” Well, I’ve done the calculations, and they show that Paxton had less support around here in the March primary than he did statewide.
Interestingly, Paxton fared even worse in the precincts within Coppell’s city limits than he did in the precincts across Coppell ISD, which includes portions of Dallas, Irving, and Lewisville.
Either Cornyn, who is seeking a fifth term in the U.S. Senate, or Paxton will face Democratic nominee James Talarico in November’s general election.
Meanwhile, Democrats have two statewide campaigns to consider in this month’s primary runoff:
Lieutenant Governor: Vikki Goodwin or Marcos Isaias Velez
Attorney General: Joe Jaworski or Nathan Johnson
Democrats in the Dallas County portion of Coppell will also help decide whether Kevin Burge or TJ Ware will be their nominee in Congressional District 24. (That link will show you the district’s gerrymandered boundaries.) My fellow Substack writer Michelle H. Davis published an extensive analysis of that race that she called “TX24 Is Sitting Right There.” Either Burge or Ware will advance to face Rep. Beth Van Duyne, a Republican who is seeking a fourth term in the U.S. House.
Additionally, Democrats who live in Valley Ranch and Cypress Waters will choose whether Colin Allred or Julie Johnson should be their nominee in Congressional District 33. And Republicans who reside in District 33 must decide whether their party’s nominee will be Patrick David Gillespie or John Sims.
If you’re a Dallas County resident, you can preview your primary runoff ballot by entering your name and date of birth here. If you live in Denton County, you can do the same here.
Early voting will begin on May 18 and conclude on May 22. Election Day will be May 26.
Apartment Complex Evicts Flood District Board
I’m sad to report that one of this newsletter’s persistent opportunities for humor has come to an end.